What Can I Do To Get A Guy To Commit?
Specific Steps to Help Him Decide That He Wants to Commit to You
So you want commitment? Your relationship is great but he seems unwilling to take that final step. If you're struggling getting him to commit and you've already checked out my definition of commitment and mastered the basics of commitment, then there are still some tactics you can use. So, how do you get a guy to commit if he's not doing it willingly?
Here are some specific things you can do:
First Priority - Change Tack
If you've been nagging him to meet your needs or trying to persuade him why he should commit to you then stop now. That won't get a guy to commit. Stop nagging, moaning, criticising, whining, blaming or any of the other tactics that some women use to try and get their own way. Negative attention tells him that he has you right where he wants you and that can mean a licence to take you for granted. Stop giving him any form of negative attention. If necessary, stop giving him any attention whatsoever. He will probably enjoy his extra space at first. However, sooner or later, he will start to worry that he may be losing you, and this is when he will begin to realise your value.
Get Back to Dating and What Attracted Him to You in the First Place
If he is taking you for granted, move your relationship back a step to shake his complacency. Try to limit your expectations of what he should and shouldn't be doing for you during this time. Read up on the rules of dating and go back to them. Some examples are don't chase him and don't always make yourself available when it suits him. Change some of the routines that you have gotten into; for example, if you always see him on a certain night, arrange something else and tell him you can't make it. Get your own life together and become the type of woman he will find irresistible.
Get back to the things you did in the beginning which made him want to be with you originally. Men much prefer activities to talking so, if you've stopped doing the things that you did together when you first met, start doing them again. More fun = more attraction for a man. Stop being so serious and get on with having fun. Reignite the spark in your relationship and watch his passion for you overtake his fear of commitment.
Talk to Him and Tell Him How You Feel
If you want to get a guy to commit, you need to know how to talk to him. Make sure what you say comes from a positive place and that you are not ranting, blaming or getting angry at him. Tell him all the reasons why you love being in a relationship with him and why you want to make that a more committed relationship. Reassure him that you are not trying to force him into anything that he's not ready for but you want him to try and understand how you feel. Be open to hearing his side of the story without criticism or judgement.
Once you have told him this once, let the subject go for a while. Don't keep harping on about it, or making it clear that this issue is affecting your happiness. If he withdraws after you broach the subject, do not panic. Let him go and do not go running after him. Give him time and space to think about what you have said and how he feels about this. He will be back in his own time. Let him reach his own conclusions about what he wants from your relationship.
Listen to Your Heart and Believe in Yourself
If this man isn't making you happy then listen to your instincts. If your heart is telling you that it isn't quite right, but you're reluctant to get out, then why? Your relationship starts with you. Don't settle for being in a relationship that doesn't make you happy just so you don't have to be alone. Believe in yourself and love yourself before any man.
If you haven't been having much success with dating and relationships generally then find out why and learn what works with men. There is so much advice out there that can really help you to get a guy to commit. Start with the suggestions and materials on this site. Even if you don't like what you are reading, open your mind to the possibility that there may be some truth in it and just give some of it a go. What have you got to lose if what you are doing now isn't working?
I hope I have given you some answers. The truth of the matter is that you can't always get a guy to commit to you, no matter how much you want it. But you can stack the odds in your favour just by being that special woman who stands out from the crowd by believing in herself and knowing what works both for you and him. If you need more help to get to that place, I recommend taking advice from Christian Carter. He is a dating and relationship guru who has helped many women (myself included) to catch and keep that special man. His in depth program "From Casual to Committed" will tell you everything you need to know about how to be that special woman and get your man to commit. I recommend that you sign up for his newsletter to get great free advice on what works with men.
Need more quality expert advice on getting a commitment? Check these out...
THE WOMAN MEN ADORE (and never want to leave) - Bob Grant
Bob Grant is a marriage counsellor, acclaimed by other experts in the relationships field.
He has received praise from other relationship authors for this work and helped many women
have the relationship that they want. Learn to become the type of woman that men willingly commit to in his e-book "The Woman Men Adore and Never Want To Leave".
>Click here to get Bob's advice on how to be one of those women that men adore and never want to leave.
FROM CASUAL TO COMMITTED - Christian Carter
Christian Carter has helped so many women with dating and relationships and he can help you too!
Programs available include his "From Casual to Committed" course on CD or DVD which tells
you everything you need to know about taking your relationship from casual to committed.
His free newsletter is filled with great advice for women who are searching for that elusive special relationship.
I highly recommend his material.
>Click here to learn how to succeed in relationships and to find out more about Christian's dating and relationship programmes.