Get Back On Track
How To Save Your Relationship
- How Can You Make Your Relationship Normal Again? (When the Cracks Appear!)
- Anger and Blame in Relationships - Why It Will Never Work
- Fighting In Relationships is Pointless and Painful! End the Misery
If you have been following the previous steps, then hopefully you should not need this section.
However, if you have only just come to this series and all is not going well with your partner
then you may need to take some of the following measures to save your relationship.
Firstly, get a piece of paper and a pen and sit down and write all the things that are wrong with your relationship. Next, on another piece of paper, write a list of the things that are right about your relationship. Spend some time making a list of the things that your partner does for you which you appreciate. It may be that there don't seem to be too many at the moment but even if you can come up with one or two it would be a start; for example my boyfriend sorts out the car when it breaks down or my husband deals with the household finances.
Next try to think about all the ways that you have contributed to your relationship breakdown. Have you been so busy resenting your partner that you can't remember that last time you were nice to him? Spend some time remembering that your partner is a wonderful decent human being who deserves a loving relationship. Read up on our section on keeping your relationship healthy and try to start putting some of those tips into practice.
Try to think of at least one thing that you could compliment your partner on. If it's something he does then next time it happens tell him that you appreciate his doing that for you. You could say something along the lines of "I know we haven't had an easy time lately but I really appreciate it when you do that for me".
Conversationally, bring up some old memories of good times you shared together. Perhaps you could suggest doing an activity that you have previously enjoyed doing together. Try to inject some humour back into your relationship. If you and your partner can start laughing together again then you should be in with a chance.
If you can start to change your attitude and behaviour towards your partner, then there's a good chance that he will start to respond differently to you. However much you see the deterioration in your relationship as his fault, if you continue to blame and act negatively and you are not prepared to make any changes yourself, then the relationship will carry on in the same vein and may well deteriorate further. Appreciation, respect and emphasis on the positive can go a long way to getting back on track.
Need more help saving your relationship? Then check out resources from dating experts...
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